We sort of already know what we're in for today so I'd like to share a magic word of my own: Yuck. It's bad enough knowing what we're in for without people wondering if Lynn might actually change things too much; the only way she will is to make Phil and John into worse people.

I don't know if Lynn's promoting her visit with Nancy Beiman needs its own thread but I'm putting it up just in case. That's because it occurs to me that with her supposedly sharing Lynn's need to blame all the evil in the world on evil men, we might be looking at the top-notch animator that was supposed to take over a few years ago. (I don't see her as being a misandrist as such; to me, it looks as if she's simply ticked off by the Smurfette effect.)

Since I have a fair idea that Lynn might simply reprint the next strip in this sequence, I'd like to point out how ludicrous this whole thing is. As all of you said yesterday, this is not a way to look cool; what it is is a way to foolishly land oneself in trouble and risk burning one's hands.

Panel 1: As Mike lights whatever he put in the pipe, Lawrence tells him "I don't like this, Michael; it's not right."

Panel 2: A red-faced, gasping Mike says "Your (koff) mom's in the house; she can't even see what we're doing."

Panel 3: Having passed Lawrence the pipe, Mike makes the palms-out gesture and tells him "Believe me, Lawrence; she'll never know."

Panel 4: Connie is gobsmacked because there's a cloud of smoke over her back fence.

Summary: While it's obvious that this was simply a lame way to both remind us that Mike is a budding hooligan and to get the pipe in Connie's hands, let us pause and remember that Lynn did get one thing right: children never quite seem to pick up on the fact that their parents are smarter than they look. And talk. And act. And dress. And our best test scores indicate.

Anyone else get the feeling that Francie was/is only a plot device?

I saw this photo and sadly thought the guy could be Anthony. If you imagine the poor bride as Liz, it would be what Anthony was thinking on his wedding day, his first wedding day of course.

Now that it's clear that we're in the middle of the pipe-smoking arc, let's remember what that leads to: Connie's eyes turning into saucers as she thinks that Destiny is guiding her to Phil. Let's also remember that back in 2007, another dizzy twit also played games with Fate and lost.

But, for now, let's remember that Mike doesn't know what is or isn't cool.

Panel 1: Mike tries his damnedest to look discreet as he tells Lawrence he intends taking Phil's pipe to the Poirier's to smoke it.

Panel 2: Lawrence is aghast as he asks Mike if he really intends smoking that thing.

Panel 3: He points out that they could get sick or get caught out; what he doesn't point out is that both things will happen.

Panel 4: Mike brushes this off by asking if he wants to feel good or look cool.

Summary: This, of course, is one of the earliest examples of Michael engaging in reckless, self-destructive and ultimately ridiculous behavior in a doomed effort to make himself look more impressive. The sad thing is that he never realized that all the people who laughed at him when he was a class clown were laughing at him instead of with him.

Since I'm not sure how quickly Lynn plans to get to the "Phil left something better than his trumpet behind" strip, I don't know if yesterday's strip means that we're in for a bunch of strips that show us that since her kids are trying to destroy her brain, Elly will fail her course.

ETA: This is what I expect to see today. I'd originally put it in an lj-cut but shoebox2 reminded me it was a bad idea.

What we do get, however, is the Phil left his pipe behind strip.

Panel 1: We start off with Lawrence, who's playing with a toy spaceship, telling Michael "I liked your uncle, Mike; too bad he had to go back to Montreal."

Panel 2: He then says that he liked Phil's trumpet and that it would be neat if he'd left it behind.

Panel 3: Mike smiles and tells Lawrence that Uncle Phil forgot something even better than his trumpet.

Panel 4: Lawrence is gobsmacked after Mike says that he forgot his pipe.

Summary: I don't know what's worse; knowing what's coming, knowing that there are going to be a lot of letters that give two kids playing with pipes a free pass or knowing that people think that we're going to be thrown a curve.

2amtomorning
If you find yourself at the crossroads of insomnia and insanity, this is the place to channel those demons that keep you sleepless. Vivid pictures, poetry, ruminations, and confessions from the nether hours between dusk and dawn. Originally formed to celebrate the city at night, there's a strong urban theme.

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Dedicated to promoting global sustainability, this community offers a forum for discussing current environmental news, research, and issues with tips on how to make positive, pro-active changes to reduce carbon impact. You'll also find information on how to get involved in eco-activism and learn about events near you (i.e., act local; think global). Offering a wealth of data on earth-friendly products and practices, you'll be inspired to don an organic bamboo cape and save the planet.

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Self-described as "a little community with a lot of rage," you can soak up impassioned vibes and read blistering exposes detailing sexist attitudes in the news, pop culture, and science! A must-join community if you are, or love, a feminist. (NB: the topic of whether a "man" can be a feminist is outside the scope of this spotlight, but will probably wind up on the Writer's Block.)

I have no idea when Coffee Talk will appear this week or what form it will take when it does; I'm setting up this thread anyway just to be on the safe side.

Thanks to a heads-up from spotts1701, we now know that today's strip is a retread from 9 January 1981:

Panel 1: We start off with Elly, who's reading her own horrible writing, trying her damnedest to ignore Michael as he asks "Mom? Mom? Hey, Mom?"

Panel 2: His being more insistent by graduating to POKE-POKE-PATTING her as he asks "Mom? Mom? MOM!!" infuriates her; can't he see that she's reading a thesaurus to help add bulk to her work as a substitute for original thought?

Panel 3: Driven to her limit by this horrible little boy who wants to steal her brain, she turns and yells "MICHAEL!! YOU ARE ASKING FOR A SMACK!!"

Panel 4: Crestfallen, he leaves and says "Oh. I was hoping for a hug"; this astonishes and saddens her.

Summary: Too bad her narcissism and paranoia prevent it from teaching her anything; she'll go back to screaming at him for nothing in no time. It's also too bad that a lifetime of this turned him into the emotional cripple who can't stand his own kids and that Lynn's supporters won't notice that this is the norm instead of the exception they think it is.

It's not going to be a big surprise if today's strip is more of Elly worrying about Connie and Phil's private lives or her yelling at Phil for being a man who only wants to be friends with Conniecallously leading innocent, naive Connie on, is it?

Well, it wouldn't have been, anyway; Lynn decided to shift gears so we're still not dealing with anything surprising. If she decided to run the only reprint that fits, we'd get this mess:

( Thursday, 8 January 1981 )

But since she ran that before, we'll get a new-ruin that's even more horrific: Lizzie sucking on Phil's pipe.

Panel 1: We start off with Phil, who's carrying his suitcases, telling Elly and Mike's silhouette "I'm on my way, Sis. I'm going to drop off my rental car and Connie is going to take me to the train."

Panel 2: Two-foot tall Mike hugs Phil, asks him if he hasta go and couldn't he stay a little longer; Elly leans down and tells him that Phil will be back very soon.

Panel 3: As he heads out the door, he says "Yeah! With my luck, I've probably forgotten something." Elly tells him that whatever that thing is, they'll get it back to him in good shape.

Panel 4: The strip ends with a nauseating image: Lizzie in the overalls that Lynn loves to draw but drive us up the wall CRUNCHing on Phil's pipe.

Summary: The only thing more disgusting than watching a one year old playing with a tobacco pipe is not it's a stupid way to set up the whole "Connie goes to Montréal to return it when she could have mailed it there and not humiliated herself" arc; it's that KAN will gush about how completely cute it is.

ETA: It seems that as far as Lynn is concerned that the holiday season is over.

I received Sims 3 for Christmas and, tired of creating characters based on my own family, created a set of Pattersims.  (Yes, I'm that sad.)  As soon as I saw that one of the default hairstyles looked like the Ellybun, another was a propellor-head and one of the supplied hats looked like John's train engineer's hat, how could I resist?

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